I am sitting in the sun, just a tiny bit chilly. Around my table, the leaves are falling and swirling like snow. The birds are making a racket. An upbeat Irish dance is playing on Pandora, and I am making progress on my homework. I could not ask for a better Saturday. I watched a movie last night. Slept in. Had freshly grilled brats (of the non-human type) for lunch. Good discussion with my best friend about the Christian philosophy of music – thankfully, we’re still friends! Looking forward to a few hours of work this evening, another movie, and hopefully more progress on my homework (computer program – it should only take a total of 10-12 hours).
I’m not sure I could ask for a better Saturday.
After 1 entire week of no job or classes, I am back at school. I came early for work training, but that’s all over today. Classes don’t start until Wednesday. Work doesn’t start until Monday. It’s just me, alone in my dorm room, with nothing to do.
That’s not quite true. I have books I could read, paperwork I could fill out, organizing I could do, and naps I could take. But I have nothing I must do. And it feels so weird….
I forget how to function when I don’t have a demanding schedule. When my mind is not full of a never-ending task list. I can’t sleep at night, because I’m not exhausted. I could read…but without looming deadlines to make that recreational reading seem precious, I have no desire. It has been like this since I left my full-time job at home a week ago. I didn’t even pack until the day before I left, because there was no urgency.
I am ready for school to start. I want schedules, syllabi, textbooks, an agenda. I thrive on meeting deadlines and completing assignments. I am crazy.