Book Review: The ADHD Effect on Marriage


One of the last books I read in 2018 was The ADHD Effect on Marriage by Melissa Orlov. I picked this one up on a wander through the non-fiction section at my library, and I chose it because I had recently learned that my husband has ADHD.

That’s a bit of a surprise, huh? We’ve been married 3+ years and, voila, major diagnosis! In the weeks following that discovery, we relied a lot on Internet resources about ADHD*, but I’m a reader, so I will always come back to book-learning about things.

[*Sidebar on the Internet conversation re: ADHD: I found How to ADHD super helpful, as well as Erynn Brook’s threads about ADHD.]

About the Book

Melissa is writing from personal experience–her husband has ADHD, and their marriage very nearly fell apart. That personal touch is invaluable for this topic, I think. There can be hard feelings Continue reading

The Honest New Year Post


I have come to enjoy changing years and the opportunity it gives me for reflection, rebeginnings, and dreaming for the future. Because of that, I’ve been excited about writing this post for several weeks.

But as I actually sit down to write, it’s hard to find words. My mental health isn’t bad this weekend, per se, but it’s acting up, and things are muted. Enjoyment is hard to find, and words–at least the good ones–even more scarce. (Just writing this post is a way of fighting back, of trying to live through the discomfort of this low rather than numbing it.)

If I can’t find my own words, I’ll use words from someone else; Continue reading

Reflections on Christmas Incongruity


Yesterday I listened to Christmas music on my commute for the first time. It was energetic and happy and evoked good memories, so it was a good start to the day.

But Christmas music also created some dissonance. See, it was 80 degrees yesterday. 100% humidity. I had the A/C on in my car, I was wearing a sleeveless blouse, and all the vegetation here is still green.

Do you know that almost all Christmas songs assume cold weather? They’re all “roasted chestnuts” and “snowmen” and “baby, it’s cold outside.”

It’s not cold outside, and I’m not staying over. Thank u, next.

I love where I live. Florida has been fantastic for me, health-wise. The sunshine and warmth provide a stable baseline for my mentality. They don’t keep me from anxiety or depression or whatever else, but they do tend to make it less severe for me. The sunshine alone is good for most people. That’s why Seasonal Affective Disorder is so prevalent.

So why do I feel this weird dissonance when I listen to this Christmas music in my tropical paradise? Because Christmas marketing is all about selling a winter wonderland. The music, the advertisements, the movies, the outfits. It’s selling a specific experience of bonfires and snow and a glorious celebration of the cold.

Don’t we all feel incongruity when our lived experience doesn’t match the vision we’re being sold? We worry that something’s wrong with us. We try not to talk about it, to keep everyone else from discovering that we don’t fit the mold. Maybe we lose track of our real feelings and desires.

Because the truth is, I hate cold. It’s bad for my mental health, and I only enjoy tiny, tiny snippets of the experience. I’m sickeningly happy to be in Florida, to be able to write you this article from my back porch because it’s warm enough for me to do that. I don’t even have fond memories of cold Christmases from childhood, because I grew up in south Alabama!

Maybe sometimes we’re not actually unhappy with our circumstances, we’re just unhappy because our circumstances are different. And being different can be hard.

Book review: First, We Make the Beast Beautiful


beastFirst, We Make the Beast Beautiful
Sarah Wilson
Non-fiction

Sarah Wilson approaches anxiety disorders with bracing honesty, reassuring credibility, and aching softness. Weaving personal experience, professional research, and inspiration from a number of outside sources–friends, gurus, writers–she offers an exploration of anxiety that’s great for everyone.

It’s not a how-to, an exhaustive research compendium, or a first-person narrative. Instead, she pulls the best elements of each to create a one-of-a-kind book for a deeply varied experience. Continue reading

Lyse Links: Mental Health Edition


Today I want to share some of the most powerful readings I’ve come across about mental health. The more I’ve read and talked to people, the more I’ve realized the frequency and severity of the mental health difficulties plaguing many of the people I know and love. Those same problems are probably affecting the people you know and love. Talking about and better understanding mental health heals us all.

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“Thinking of suicide is a sign of a medical emergency.” Continue reading